It's Harder Than You Think

There is something I was thinking about the other day and I have thought about it many times in the past. I think the dirtiest part on a human's body could most arguably be the eyelids. My reason being is that you can't really scrub them very hard, or your eyeballs would explode into your head. This would leave you blind and in pain from the soap that got in there. Every other part of your body can be scrubbed just about as hard as you want it to be. So please don't be shy about it.

Also, I think most people don't think they have to wash their feet specifically. Especially between their toes. I bet they all think that the soap rinsing down there is enough. I don't think it is. All in all, I have some advice for everyone reading this.

Please wash your eyelids thoroughly, but be careful and also take time to wash your feet and in between your toes. For real.

Lessons In Great Movie Titles

So I was talking to my buddy Brad today and the subject of Snakes On A Plane came up. We both agreed that it was a great title and movie, but it also got me thinking. Why can't more movies have titles that tell you what you are getting into before you go see them. I mean, to anyone that did not like SOAP, you are an idiot. What did you think it was going to be about? Can you really say that it was not what you expected? You would be a fool to suggest that. So here is a list of five movie titles that I can understand you being totally upset about and to even things out, further down is a list of movie titles I made up that would be about exactly what the title says.


Titles that aren't good
1. The Last King of Scotland. (I already blogged about this one.)
2. Octopussy (We all know it was a James Bond flick, but maybe, just maybe, this one was going to be a little different than the others.)
3. Little Shop of Horrors (It doesn't help that this was based on a musical. Not scary at all. How can you have the word horror in your title when the scariest part of your movie is the dark blank screen at the end of it. Not a good look Rick.)
4. Funny Girl (Not funny, not hot.)
5. XXX: State of the Union (I see triple exes and... I digress, this one and the sequel, not so much.)

(My) Titles that are good
1. Hot Chicks Take Their Clothes Off and Do Stuff Part 2 (There would obviously be a sequel to this one)
2. Spiders In Your Closet (See the part above about SOAP)
3. Photoshop (This one's about Photoshop)
4. Kung Fu Masters Getting Bad Ass (I know this would be a great one)
5. Brian Builds a Weather Control Device and Time Machine to Control the World (This is a work in progress as we speak, it will be an autobiography.)


P.S. To make things awesomer!

Apparently there was a sequel made to Snakes On a Plane. It was called Snakes On A Train. I shit you not. Check it out here!