The Importance of Brand Names, Part Duex

One of the comments I received on my blog about Q-tips was from my long time friends in Richmond. I figured, based on their comments, which I agreed with totally, I would expand. They were apparently very unhappy that I had left some things out. Their comments were;

"Other item to never buy generic: TOILET PAPER, cereal, tapioca pudding, tampons, "white-out", bread, condoms (lol) & pregnancy tests (I have seen these at the Dollar Store, not name brand overstock items, but made and distributed by the Dollar Store!Yikes, if you must buy either of these items at the Dollar Store, you def. shouldn't be having sex. Just save the dollar and bank on being pregnant.)While we're on it - helmets & car seats - how much do you care about protecting your dome-piece or a loved one? Oh man, the list could go on and on! "

I think everyone knows not to buy generic toilet paper. I think cement might be softer and cheaper to use too, since there are sidewalks everywhere. However, I do not believe that they have figured out how to put that on a roll yet. Just splurge and buy the Cottenelle.

The only thing I know about tampons is that they are gross. I expect, generic ones are even grosser. On another note. Is it really necessary in tampon commercials to have a red dot hopping all over the place? I think we get it.

I shake and shiver at the thought of a budget pregnancy test. Enough said.

I agree, no Uncle Ken's helmets. Bad idea.

I am not aware of brand name car seats (see above) but I assume nobody would want to put their hellspawn (fruit of your loins, if you prefer) in one.

"I'm so pimp it's ridiculous, got tinted windows on my ride, I'm inconspicuous."

Today I saw one of the craziest things in my life. It was a late 90's model Dodge Caravan with the top chopped. Yes folks. This was a convertible mini van. WTF? It even had a spoiler on it. I don't even know where to begin on this one. In fact, the only person that would believe me, was the person I was on the phone with at the time. Coincidentally he happened to see a Bentley at that exact moment. Where the hell am I? The twilight zone? I mean, any geographical area where one could theoretically see a Bentley and convertible mini van simultaneously has got to have something wrong with it.

Blacula is Wacula!

I like to occasionally watch blaxploiation flicks. There is some mildly entertaining about watching some brothers or sisters stick it to the man. Or the establishment if you so prefer. Two of my favorites are Black Belt Jones and The Black Six. Check them out!

So imagine how excited I was when my TIVO recorded Blacula. Here is the synopsis, from my words.

An African prince and his wife travel to Europe to talk to a powerful Count about ending the slave trade. Of course this Count turns out to be Dracula himself, who the proceeds to say he likes the slave trade and if he could purchase his wife he would. Well good old Mamawalde (yes that is his name) protests. Dracula beats him up and bites him. Then he locks him in a coffin to forever be hungry while his wife watches (listens) to him die. About a thousand years later his coffin is purchased by antique dealers and ends up in Chicago or something.

Sounds good right. Wrong. How the hell they messed this up I don't know. We need a remake, I could write the script. This movie went in a completely odd direction. I won't even waste my time explaining it. Anyone that really cares can comment and I will get at them. In conclusion, Blacula is Wacula!!

The importance of brand names

This could possibly be the worst blog post ever. It has been a while though. So here is something for the masses.

I have no problem buying generic household items. I don't buy clothes this way though because that is a question of quality. At times though, it can be a question of quality for household items too. One of these such times is the Q-tip.

Pictured here is the real Q-tip.

Superior in every way to the fake Q-tip. Which has plastic stems and less cotton on the tip. They bend and they don't Q-tip well at all. They look like this....

Stay away!

On the other hand. Exactly what is a Q-tip?

Well It says here on wikepedia.com

"It was first produced in 1923 after Leo Gerstenzang, the original founder of the Q-tips Company, observed his wife adding cotton to toothpicks. It was originally called Baby Gays and in 1926 was changed to Q-tips Baby Gays. Later the name Baby Gays was dropped. The "Q" in the name stands for quality."

Can this dedicated to domination get any better? I think not!

So fresh so clean

I went to the dentist today. Unlike some, I have no fear of it. I also have a dentist that is hella old fashioned. In fact I think it is odd when people say they go to the dentist and he isn't even the one doing the cleaning. My dentist operates out of a little building, about the size of a small 1950's house. It was handed down to him from his mentor or whatever.

It also only has 2 exam rooms and it has gas lines running in it, in addition to recovery rooms. This all stems from when they use to gas people. Not to death though. To sleep, in order to keep them calm for procedures. In all my years of dentisting. (I made that up) It never fails that 1-2.5 months prior to my cleaning, I start to think I have cavities. It starts with a sensitive spot, then progresses to me not being able to chew on a certain tooth. So far, in all of my years of paranoia I have only had one cavity.

To this I say 2 things:
1. "Just because you are paranoid, don't think they aren't after you." - Kurt Cobain
2. "Absence of proof, is not proof of absence." - Unknown

So, with this I also impart advice. Always, if possible get your dentist, or hygienist for your new fangled people, to schedule your appointment for the morning. These people use their hands all day and by the end of it they are tired. That is why they poke you and jab you so much. Going in the morning is like having a brand new Doctor, or hygienist. I have been the first appointment of the day for at least my last 5 or so cleanings. This will change your life. I have testimonials to prove it.

Lazy Friday Post

Just a taste from the greatest rapper alive!

Artist: Jay-Z
Album: Reasonable Doubt
Song: D'Evils

My flesh, no nigga could test
My soul is possessed by D'Evils in the form of diamonds and lexuses
The Exorcist, got me doing skits like Homie
You don't know me, but the whole world owe me - strip!
Was thought to be a pleasant guy all my fucking life
So now I'm down for whatever, ain't nothing nice
Throughout my junior high years it was all friendly
But now this Higher Learning got the Remy in me
Liquors invaded my kidneys
Got me ready to lick off, mama forgive me
I can't be held accountable, D'Evils beatin me down, boo
Got me runnin with guys, making G's, tellin lies that sound true
Come test me, I never cower
For the love of money, son, I'm giving lead showers
Stop screamin, you know the demon said it's best to die
And even if Jehovah Witness, bet he'll never testify, D'Evils...




Amazing!