Lessons In Great Movie Titles

So I was talking to my buddy Brad today and the subject of Snakes On A Plane came up. We both agreed that it was a great title and movie, but it also got me thinking. Why can't more movies have titles that tell you what you are getting into before you go see them. I mean, to anyone that did not like SOAP, you are an idiot. What did you think it was going to be about? Can you really say that it was not what you expected? You would be a fool to suggest that. So here is a list of five movie titles that I can understand you being totally upset about and to even things out, further down is a list of movie titles I made up that would be about exactly what the title says.


Titles that aren't good
1. The Last King of Scotland. (I already blogged about this one.)
2. Octopussy (We all know it was a James Bond flick, but maybe, just maybe, this one was going to be a little different than the others.)
3. Little Shop of Horrors (It doesn't help that this was based on a musical. Not scary at all. How can you have the word horror in your title when the scariest part of your movie is the dark blank screen at the end of it. Not a good look Rick.)
4. Funny Girl (Not funny, not hot.)
5. XXX: State of the Union (I see triple exes and... I digress, this one and the sequel, not so much.)

(My) Titles that are good
1. Hot Chicks Take Their Clothes Off and Do Stuff Part 2 (There would obviously be a sequel to this one)
2. Spiders In Your Closet (See the part above about SOAP)
3. Photoshop (This one's about Photoshop)
4. Kung Fu Masters Getting Bad Ass (I know this would be a great one)
5. Brian Builds a Weather Control Device and Time Machine to Control the World (This is a work in progress as we speak, it will be an autobiography.)


P.S. To make things awesomer!

Apparently there was a sequel made to Snakes On a Plane. It was called Snakes On A Train. I shit you not. Check it out here!

Babies! Aliens! Real monsters?!

Yo. I am a bit confused about pregnancy. Not in the way you might think though. Like, I think I have the basics down about how it all happens and what not, but here is the part that I think is odd.

Why are pregnant people always, no matter how pregnant, rubbing their stomachs. I don't see how it could be calming. In fact, maybe it would only freak you out more, because I am sure, that even after 9 months, it still feels pretty foreign to have something growing inside of you. Almost, Alien. Which brings me to my next point.

You never saw that robot dude from Alien, or Aliens, or aliens, rubbing his robot, stomach. That is if robots even have stomachs, so let's say robot torso. He had sensors and stuff and he wasn't rubbing his. It's just odd. That is all I am saying. Then again, maybe he wasn't rubbing it with his hand, but he was feeling with his robot parts.

The Warriors

I watched The Warriors the other day. It is about gangs. Not a bad flick at all, you guys should check it out. The thing I like the most about this movie was the outfits each gang wore. Which made me wonder about organized crime.

See, I don't think it is all the well organized. Nothing says organization like matching outfits. Not only do they increase solidarity, they look scary, and people will fear you. Long story short. I think you all should watch The Warriors, if for nothing other than the sweet outfits. I also guarantee that it will be better than the series finale of that other show about gangs.

The Last King of Scotland

So, I have this movie at my house from netflix. The name of it is The Last King of Scotland.
I have no idea what it is about, even though I have seen the previews in the theater. So, based on the cover of the book, I will assume the movie is about its title. I will now tell you what I think it is all about.

There is this dude. He is black. Forrest Whitaker plays him. Well, he has a fancy uniform that he uses for parades. One day he realizes that there are not any kings, not even Britain, which is run by a queen. So since he is already the ruler of Scotland, which I think is in Ireland, and also very close to Britain, he decides to be the King. Well this other dude comes along, he is played by James McAvoy. I am guessing that he is a history student or something, because he really knows about royalty and stuff and he has a really huge problem with Forrest becoming the king. Oddly enough Forrest likes him anyway and he lets him move into this castle. One of the things that Forrest can do, at least based on the book cover, is smile really big and shoot a gun out of his finger. His big smile makes you think he is nice and then he finger bangs you to death. This is how he plans to take over Scotland, Ireland. Finger-banging all the important people to death so he can take over. Well James stops him. I am not really sure how, but I am guessing there is a lot of yelling, there is probably at least one woman in the movie, she will probably cry about something and the dude will have to pretend to care to get her to stop. I think Forrest will die and since being a history major, without a gun-finger, a smile, a snazzy uniform, or parades, James will not be able to take over and he will have to become a teacher.

I will let you guys know how close I was to the plot I think is real, after I watch the movie.